Last Wednesday afternoon, Barbra Stewart, 72, Betty Williams, 69 and Rita Miller, 75 got together for soup and salad,  water with extra lemon and separate checks for lunch like they do every Wednesday. This particular Wednesday they were celebrating Barbra’s 72^nd birthday.  Rita was feeling extra cold this morning due to her very thin skin and blood. She asked the waiter, Terry Nichols, to please increase the temperature.

Terry jokingly said back; “why don’t you let me bring you a shot of Patron, it will warm you up from the inside out and after all this is a party isn’t it?” Rita inquired about what this “Patron” was. The waiter Terry used his superior up selling skills (after all hi did will the Patron Leather Jacket last year) to entice all of the old ladies to take a double shot of Patron, chilled with a lime. “All I had to say”, says Terry, “was tell them it will make em feel like it was 1975 again and they were all game. It was quite a scene, three old ladies licking their wrists and slamming the shot glasses down on the table like rappers playing dominoes. I could tell there were some old school partiers inside those varicose veins, elastic waist pants and white hair styles”. An hour latter, Terry had convinced the ladies to do 2 more double shots of chilled Patron.  Terry told 86BadTips, I knew we had a problem when Betty said to Barbra, “Can a sista get a table dance”. This is when the Manager, Dave Smith, started clearing the kids out of the restaurant. Right about the time I got the last kid out, I looked up and Barbra was up on the table dancing to “Send me an angel” while Rita and Betty were chanting “Take it off, Take it off” Said Dave. It was quite a disturbing visual. Betty proceeded to put dollar bills into Barbra’s panty hose. Barbra told 86BadTips reporter Steve Jackson, through the bars of the police car, “I feel like I am 60 again, I love this restaurant. I will be back for the early bird special next Wednesday.”  Barbara was the only one to be arrested, that is until Betty tried to drive away in her 2008 Lincoln Continental. She popped a curb in that tank and knocked over the mail box. She was immediately taken into custody. Rita decided it would be in her best interest to walk home. She was picked up 30 minutes later by Officer Daniels of the New Hampshire State Police Department for illegal hitch hiking and making obscene gestures at traffic. Officer Daniels said he observed Mrs. Miller “mooning the traffic”. When we caught up with Mrs. Miller a few days latter after her headache was gone, she said she thinks she was mooning them because they changed lanes illegally, but she can’t really remember. We here at 86BadTips did catch up with the group a few weeks later at TGI Fridays. Two of the ladies had an ankle bracelet on and all of them had breathalyzers installed on their cars to prevent starting while intoxicated. They all look back and laugh about the day they met Mr. Patron. “They all still get together every Wednesday and have that soup and salad; they just keep the drinking to a minimum or at least get a “designated blower” lined up first so they can get the Continental started. Well as usual 86BadTips will keep you informed on the funny stuff going around the restaurant business. We report, you laugh!!!

One Response to “Old ladies gone wild at a New Hampshire Red Robin.”