Mason is a waiter at Pelicans, an upscale seafood restaurant, in Wichita Falls Texas. A couple of  Sunday nights ago was Valentine’s Day and Ted Gains and his wife Lisa Steward (she just could not bear for her name to be Lisa Gains-too many jokes) were enjoying a nice romantic VD diner. They ordered crab legs and salmon (pronounced incorrectly sal-man) It really gets on Masons nerves when people order a very common fish and can’t even pronounce it correctly. Lisa asked “what salad dressings do y’all have?” Mason rolled his eyes as he said “ranch, blue cheese, fat free ranch and thousand Island” in a very monotone, unenthusiastic voice as to really say “the same dressings every other restaurant in this city has”. Lisa thought long and hard and finally went with Ranch. Mason could have drop kicked her right then and there but he held his peace, the kicking will be coming soon. While Mason was fetching the salads Ted thought he would be romantic so he spontaneously jumped into the same booth with Lisa hoping to snuggle a bit while waiting for his salad. About that time Mason showed up. You should have seen Lisa’s eye pop when she saw the FREE BREAD. You would think she just won the lottery. She must have had 3 loaves all by herself before dinner was over. As Mason walked away he over heard Ted say, “you can always tell the fancy restaurants, they give you the cold salad plates”. Mason thought to himself “oh brother, these people must be from the other side of town”. Diner came, the couple ate and Mason thought he would use his superior sales skills so about the time they were half way done with their meal, Mason said “Y’all don’t want any desert do you?” Ted said, “No thanks”. After the meal was over and the credit card receipt was signed, and the couple was safely put back out on the streets Mason looked at his 10% tip and sighed. But an instant later he flipped out and finally went berserk. As if the 10% was not bad enough, THEY TOOK HIS PEN!!!!!!! “I’ve had it” yelled Mason as he bolted out the door after the young couple. He quickly caught up with them in the parking lot. Ted was picking his teeth with a small stick and Lisa was fingering her deep belly button checking for lint. Mason was at a full sprint when he tackled Ted from behind leaping onto his back like a monkey. Now Ted was a big dude, 6’5” 250 lb, and Mason was just a little chap at 5’7” 165 Lb but since Mason was traveling at the speed of light he took Ted down in an instant. They rolled out into the street as Mason pounded on Ted for several seconds as years of pent up customer anger came flowing out of every pore of his body. He pounded on Ted like he called his mama a foul name. He was so up set he could not stop. He was defending every server that has ever had their pen stolen. Mason was cussing and yelling about pens, gravy, salad dressings, bad tips, Canadians and a slew of other server related nightmares. 86BadTips reporter Fred Avery was paged “911”and on the scene in minutes. Avery always strives to be there when servers finally go mad. He got an interview with Mason and the young couple before the cops showed up.

It seems that Lisa was the one that actually swiped the pen; she thought it was a gift. At least that was her alibi. Mason, come to find out was bipolar and has been on the edge of flipping out for quite awhile now. His manager Ralph Parker said taking his pen is his hot button. “We have signs posted all over the place warning customers; I can’t say I blame Mason” Said Manager Ralph. The cops ended up taking Lisa to jail for theft and Mason received employee of the month for his bravery and taking on a man twice his size fighting over right and wrong. Mason will forever go down in the server hall of fame for pounding the snot out of a bad tipping, tooth pick using hillbilly that only goes out for “special occasions”. 86BadTips awarded Mason a medal of honor and wrote this story on his behalf. If you would like to write Mason a nice thank you note you may write him at…

Mason

Pelican’s Restaurant

2301 Midwestern Pkwy

Wichita Falls, TX 76308

He just loves getting these notes. They really help encourage him to do it again and again. Well until next time folks, this is 86BadTips signing out, we report, you Laugh…